FOR those tender souls who sit in their houses consumed by the mind-numbing outpourings on television...all of us should take a moment to reflect on their blighted existence, an existence cursed by brains befogged by the puss oozing from the maggot-ridden so-called entertainers' and the zombie-like pronouncements of politicians peddling their pre-election promises.
We shall pity them as we get set for four days of the best extreme metal and hard rock can throw in our willing faces and aural tracts - there's even a double-header of tribute acts included .
Now, when you think tweed and wooly jumpers the word association with death metal, even less so murder metal does not immediately spring to mind. But should you meander your way along to the Warzone Centre tonight (Thursday 9th April) you could find that word association fits.
Playing alongside headliners Abaddon Incarnate are Basement Torture Killings, a band not renowned for power ballads - unless it is a power tool being brought down on human flesh and the ballad is played at 100mph.
With song titles like 'Gore Bukkake' and 'Severed Head Fellatio' you can imagine that One Direction will not be bidding to do a cover version of a BTK track - although they could try 'Cut, Drained and Disposed'...
Abaddon Incarnate are headlining the show making it a perfect chance to check out the Dublin grindcore crew before their appearance at Monsters of Rot V.
Opening the proceedings for this Grindscene Records presentation are Stand With Heretics. Oh Daith, who were originally scheduled to play have withdrawn, and at the time of writing no replacement had been announced. But with three bands of this caliber for a measly five of your pounds sterling what else are you going to do on a Thursday night?
If Thursday night is the unofficial start to the weekend, then Friday night is when it properly kicks off.
And in the middle of a three-band line-up is another act not averse to horror, the tribute act Alike Cooper, who will be bringing Vincent Furnier's alter ego's nightmares to Limelight1.
Opening the proceedings will be Maverick, fresh from taking on the metal at Siege of Limerick and winning!
Headliners, Hotter Than Hell will be bringing their fire and brimstone take on Kiss to the stage - a worthy way to end Friday. Tickets are £12 and available at the door for this Distortion Project presentation.
James' Distortion Project never sits still. On Saturday there will once more be a convening of the loyal at Limelight2 for Mr Loveday's regular 5-9 slot. This time Swedish doomsters Void Moon are topping the bill.
Support comes with added groove in the shape of Baleful Creed and NWOBHM stylings courtesy of Terminus (NI). Part with £6 and entry shall be permitted...
If by the end of Saturday night you feel exhausted you may get well rested for Sunday at the Voodoo.
Because you better be ready to perform the 'Crabulon'! Yes in another Distortion Project presentation Evil Scarecrow will be bringing their own flavor or metal madness to Belfast. And, we should all remember that no matter what flavor of rock/metal it is, you do not need permission to have fun.
Opening proceedings are thrashers Wardomized and dark metal from Katabolisis. To enter this feast of fun you'll have to part with £10.