News has leaked from the Council for Curriculum, Examinations and Assessment that an Iron Maiden GCSE is shortly to be added to the Northern Ireland school curriculum. A source at the CCEA revealed:
"Well, through Iron Maiden the kids can learn about:
- The pogrom of Native Americans in the 19th Century (Run to the Hills);
- Greek Mythology (Flight of Icarus);
- the History of the Crimean War and Lord Tennyson's War Poetry (The Trooper; with de-caff Trooper for those in Nationalist schools who might not want the Union Jack thing);
- the Second World War (Aces High);
- Great English Poets - Samuel Taylor Coleridge (Rime of the Ancient Mariner);
- Persian and Greek wars (Alexander The Great)
- Contemporary English Fiction (The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner);
- English Arthouse/Cult cinema (The Wicker Man);
- The impact of Viking culture (Invaders);
- Plus many other topics including a psychological approach to phobias through music (Fear of the Dark).
"Hell," went on our source, "It's more than the wee scrotes learn at A-Level"
A spokesman for Maiden said: "Well, Sharon Osbourne is a wanker" but we at Belfast Metal Reunited decided not to publish that....oops, we just did!