That would be an ‘eavy spring programme then...

THE daffodils are emerging tentatively through the drying soil, and lambs are bounding through fields, self-tenderising for the barbecue, and the Ormeau Road is being blitzed with some ‘eavy fuggin’ metal.

Yep, The Distortion Project’s spring programme has moved into high gear with April and May looking like a sonic wasteland of vibes to smash any sunny smiley thoughts that might have been pushing through your winter gummed eyes.

Last week alone we saw Darkest Era launch their début platter. Have to confess we (as in me and my son) were disappointed to miss this one, as Darkest Era performed way back at the first No Fake ID Required* gig. Krum electrified the crowd by plunging into the midst of a crowd of sweaty moshing teenagers.

Good luck to them, but as if that wasn’t enough to prepare you for the clocks going forward then hold on to your wee satanic cotton socks, because...well the line-up tells all.

In no particular order...Honey For Christ launch their new album ‘The Cruelty of Great Expectations’ on April 9th; “experimental-terror-metal noise heroes “ Today is the Day" play the Spring and Airbrake the night before; Hellbastard bring the ‘Bastards over Europe’ tour line-up to Auntie Annies on the 10th; and then we move into May…

Soilent Green land in the Limelight on 11th May, Welsh deathheads Desecration pop up in the same place the next day; and then we have the small matter of My Dying Bride on 22nd May at the Spring and Airbrake.

Look I could go on endlessly about support acts, ticket prices and availability, but as a former full-time journalist and current part-time chancer (well I work in PR, what do you expect!) save me the bother and head over to The Distortion Project and read, as they say, all about it!

Anyone else wanting gigs, events, metal weddings, black metal bar mitzvas, grindcore internments, or thrash metal formals mentioned email me. [PS – we also do album reviews!]


*No Fake ID Required was a name that a crowd of ne-er do wells used for two all-ages hard rock and metal gigs. I came up with the name when we were ensconced on sofas at Ossia Music School. As Paul, Stephen, Alli and Laura were all present there is collective ownership of the name. You may, of course, want to use it, but only with written permission from all of the above, your request being sent in your own blood Manowar style. Or send us a large amount of unmarked, non-sequential £50 notes in a brown envelope, which we will split and donate to the continuing profits of Jagermeister and Jack Daniels.
You may have noticed that included in this article are some links to the acts, which go to album links or MP3 download links in Amazon.com. Please do not feel obliged to buy from any of these links, but if you do Mr Arthur Guinness and Mr Jack Daniels will have your undying thanks. My liver on the other hand...