Why wear 'coloured' jeans and why oddness in metal and rock is cool...

WARNING - RANT AHEAD: And Devin Townsend & Steve Earle...

THERE is an alarming trend amongst male folk in Northern Ireland - that is wearing coloured jeans and chinos...

We're sorry - that's just wrong! You know the type of trouser we're talking about, that awful orange jean, or green tinged chino, often accompanied by some 'stylish' sweater. If you find yourself tempted to buy, or worse still wear such items be prepared to hand in your memberhip card for the male gender.

No, we're not being discriminatory, we couldn't care less if you are black, white, gay, straight, bi-sexual, or any orientation or cultural background; if you come with the male 'equipment' downstairs and wear these abominations you are more interested in fashion than any male should be...

Let us be clear the only colours acceptable in jeans are blue denim or black; the only colour chinos should have are that proper chino colour: better still have a few extra pockets around the thighs in the off-chance you'll be mistaken for a roadie. Combat trousers of any colour are also acceptable.

When you slough off the suit of subjucation or peel off the work clothes you now know that 'coloured' jeans are verbotten if you are a member of the male species. We can, however, suggest a recovery programme of selected CDs, gigs like Devin Townsend, Lordi, Saxon, Black Sabbath and even one Mr Steve Earle...group counselling is also available on request.

As to the ladies - you are all beautiful and can wear whatever you want at gigs...

But why rant about the absurdity of followers of 'fashion' - also known as lining the pockets of the corporate bitches of the high street?

Well we are acutely aware that being a little bit odd, or off-the-wall is a good thing in metal and rock - even in country rock. When Devin Towsend plays the Stiff Kitten this coming Sunday you will see an example of an extreme guitar widdler, with a vision that at times is as much about being bonkers as being a genius, a line he treads closely, just on the side of genius.

As to Lordi on Saturday...no more needs to be said, but we know when they shrug off the stage costumes they pull on a pair of jeans.

But let us also look at the case of Steve Earle, whose Copperhead Road album still stands the test of time as a country/southern rock classic. When Mr Earle takes to the stage at the Limelight on June 2nd you know he won't be wearing coloured jeans.

And, most of all when Saxon come on stage at the Mandella Hall this coming Friday not one of the gig goers will not know the words to their classic fan tribute - Denim and Leather...

We know that most metal and rock performers, and a fair amount of the fans are odd to say the least,  but odd is much cooler than following the fashionistas any day of the year!

What a week of rock 'n' feckin' roll!

OH DEAR Lord Lemmy forgive us humble mortals for we be bereft of the funds to be worshiping at the glorious altars of rock and metal this week!

And what a week there is in store for us humble souls...

Saturday - take your pick - Limelight 2's Distortion Project with By Any Means, Skypilot, Warcrux and Death By Consent or should it take your fancy Million$Reload are recording a live album at the Diamond Rock Club.

With Sunday set aside to recover, Monday sees the immense Audrey Horne, backed by Mercy House and SAHG at Limelight 2.

Younger types with weird tastes might like to take on board Enter Shikira on Tuesday night in Belfast or Derry the following night, but really you shouldn't...

Thursday, May 2nd will see Maverick, Sweet Taste and Infamy at Belfast's Voodoo, before Stormzone blow Saxon off the stage on Friday at the Mandella Hall...

Come Saturday May 4th Finnish rockers Lordi will be ripping apart the Limelight before Sunday, May 5th sees the Devin Townsend Project tear The Stiff Kitten a new one...

First off we'd like to see all of these, but we can't (boo hiss I hear you call!), so will be only making limited appearances. But that doesn't stop you turning up and rocking out!

Oh, and don't forget that Trucker Diablo will be launching Songs or Iron on May 18th (review here).

In the meantime here's Audrey Horne's Redemption Blues to whet your appetites....

Beastly lords hit Belfast

EUROVISION victors and over-the-top metalheads Lordi are getting set to rock Belfast's Limelight 1 on May 4th, with a Finnish explosion with, of course hard roll hallelujahs

With their sixth album to date - "To Beast or Not to Beast" currently doing the rounds, and single "Riff" gaining radio play across Europe the band has set a new direction, but not without tgragedy sowing the seeds for the Lordi re-birth.

 

The new tone and brutal approach was set by former drummer Ortus, when he took more of the song-writing responsibility, inspiring guitarist Amen to lay down the riffs that were the architecture for the new material.

 

Then, jut as the band were preparing for their 20th anniversary drummer Ortus passed away in February and keyboardist Awa decided pursue other paths.

 

Re-grouping after this was not going to be easy but in 2012 they fulfilled summer festival dates and now with new keyboardist Hella and drummer Mana behind the kit Lordi are ready to hit the stages again.

 

Sure it is easy to mock their schlock horror of Lordi, but there is one thing that they are not short of, and that s hooks, riffs and catchy choruses.

 

And on that night of Eurovision, when that arch-cynic Terry Wogan was left speechless, rock and metal fans across the continent were dialling in their votes with glee as the mediocrity was thrown out in a hail of masks and rock.

“To Beast or not to Beast” was released on the 1st March.  Tickets for this Distortion Project/Limelight gig are on sale priced £21 (excluding booking fee) from www.limelightbelfast.com www.ticketmaster.ie Katy’s Bar & Ticketmaster outlets nationwide. Northern Ireland customers 0844 277 44 55 & Republic of Ireland customers 0818 719 300