NEWS: Hang on to your inner organs Black Label Society are coming to Belfast

YES! YES! And, all the YESES. Black Label Society are playing in Belfast.

The man mountain Zakk Wylde is bringing Black Label Society to Limelight 1 on April 8th.

Mark the date in your diaries in the blood of the innocents who have yet to revel in the delights in the sheer musical majesty of BLS.

Whether it is shredding, delicate passages or over-the-top solos Zakk Wylde stands head and shoulders above almost all.

Sell a kidney, rent out you house, set up a pledge page - just make you are there on April 8th.

Tickets are a measly £25 go on sale this Friday, November 3rd.

Gig-tastic time

OKAY peeps - who'd got the beer tokens? It's a fantastic few months of gigs coming up. Can we handle it all?

First up, if you were planning to go see Korn or You Me At Six...if you haven't got your tickets yet it's too late: both gigs are sold out. But if you want your fix of hard rock and metal there's plenty out there!

This Friday night Nasa Assassin and Trucker Diablo are at Ma Nelson's; and if you want a full listing of local  rock and metal head over to RockRadioNI's gig guide or the Distortion Project pages.

Meanwhile there are still tickets available for Amon Amarth (with Grand Magus and In Solitude) at the Mandella on 18th March, UFO and Sweet Savage on the 21st March at the Spring and Airbrake, with Vain playing the same night at The Limelight.

If you can still keep up Ministry are playing the Mandella on July 17th, Ice Earth are at the Spring and Airbrake on 8th August. Hang on to your hats then because WASP will be bringing their 30th Anniversary tour to the Ulster Hall on 24th September, with Y&T playing the Spring & Airbrake on the 29th of that month....

Damn it, I've probably missed a few out, but....who's heading to Download?

Sabbath [possibly the last time to see Ozzy, Tony and Geezer play together live], Metallica, Anthrax, Slash, Machine Head, Black Label Society and a host of others.

Who's going?

Morbid tales and tunes

LET'S face it, a lot of rock and metal tunes are pretty morbid: if you took the cathartic elements away from listening to such dire, morbid lyrics it could really send you on downer. But, on the other hand a lot of tunes are life affirming.

This tangled talk in my own head (well who else is going to listen to my tortured analysis of 'eavy fugging metal') led me to contemplation about what tunes should be played at a rocker/metalhead funeral.

I've always had a few in mind: Black Sabbath's Never Say Die to mess with expectations; BLS's The Damage is Done to have people reflect (I don't expect any mourners, just people turning up in case there's beer at hand); and maybe Metallica's Fade to Black too.

It may be a weird topic for a beered up Saturday night, but does anyone out there have another suggestions? Highway to Hell will not be on the list...too predictable, and Stairway to Heaven is also off the list, as I don;t believe in Heaven or Hell they're out, although Sabs Heaven & Hell is a contender!

So in brief: suggestions for tracks for my funeral, and what would you like to have played as your coffin is lowered?

Happy thoughts everyone!

Infiltrating the mainstream...

HEAVY metal doesn't often penetrate the mainstream sensibility, but perhaps we're making strides. Iron Maiden's The Final Frontier has penetrated the UK album charts at Number One this week, and even the tweedle dee tweedle dumb pop pages of the Daily Mirror managed to mention this (of course, given the hordes we know are out there, like a Nightbreed of Cabal fame it was always going to happen).

And, in the latest shocker the Financial Times, that bastion of besuited bankers and stockbrokers, has included a (brief) review of Black Label Society's Order of the Black.

This, surely means that the pop-tastic pricks and the orderly ranks of merchant bankers has been infiltrated. To those that, by stealth and guile, have snuck upon the unwary, orderly world well done.

What next? Heavy metal in Bollywood? Well Panic Cell have done that with tracks appearing on the forthcoming Pusher movie (they've also snuck into the wholesome world of Lego with their video for 'Crazy' and its hilarious massed ranks of headbanging lego figures).

Hell there even is a Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book (you too can indoctrinate the kids before boy bands steal their mojo or Katie Price steals their virginity!).

In all seriousness (no seriously I'm sober so have a tendency to be serious once a week without fail) heavy metal and hard rock lurks in the consciousness of the wider, unwashed and unbidden folks who are normally content with bland, beige tunes. Play them a little AC/DC riff, Metallica's Nothing Else Matters, a snatch of Maiden, a hint of G 'n' R, and a smidge of Sabbath and they nod; a little (bitter) part of their soul yearning for the sweet abandon of metal.

But the, boring, soft, yielding part of their make-up urges them on, forever cautioning them against the wearing of the black, and not caring what the neighbours think about Reign in Blood upsetting the cats.

I cry for them. I despair that they will never have that sweet abandon of having drunk too many pints, yelled till hoarse and been dazzled by the brilliance of a live performance and then stumbled into the street with the brothers and sisters of metal and ears a-buzzing and face-a-grinning.

But, we shall perservere, we'll hail those that infiltrate the beige and slowly, but surely begin the world dominance that will see every speaker blown (tangential Manowar reference there!) in the cause of metal.

[NB: for those who have read this far you may have gathered that the tongue was firmly inserted in cheek (and that wasn't a sexual reference...though I'm sure Steel Panther could come up with one). All heavy metal, even in its most serious, reverential knows the danger of taking itself too seriously!]