LIVE REVIEW: Simply the Best - Iron Maiden leave Belfast slack-jawed in amazement

THERE are stage shows, there are great stage shows, and then there are amazing mélange of songs and stage shows. And then there is Iron Maiden. Surpassing all, not just hyperbole - but an acknowledgement that they are simply the best.

The Maiden machine's descent upon Belfast's SSE on August 2nd was a masterclass on how to do an arena show. Other acts will be scratching their heads on how to even come close, never mind match this show.

The choice of Killswitch Engage as support may have had some people wondering, given their status as metalcore pioneers. However, the age range of Maiden fans is such that they appealed to many.

And, Jesse Leach was well aware that they had to engage the building audience from the off. Sure, the tomfoolery of Adam Dutkiewcz was an interesting aside, but the band used every second of their support slot to pack in songs sure to have horns raised.

Both Leach and Howard Jones songs were deployed, but Jesse's voice has a commanding presence, with opener 'Strength of Mind', 'Hate By Design' and 'My Last Serenade'.

Much more effective when headliners in their own right Leach committed the supporting act faux pas, reminding everyone that they were there to see Iron Maiden - yeah we all knew that!

Concluding with a crowd-pleasing, and affectionate, cover of Dio's Holy Diver a return to Belfast will be most welcomed by most.

For those who have watched the documentary 'Belly of the Beast' the level of detail, consideration and rehearsals that Iron Maiden and their team put into every tour comes as no surprise.

Regimented, disciplined, well-oiled etc etc. For many bands this could result in a stilted performance. Not Maiden. They take professionalism to another level. If they were to stand in front of long-time manager Rod Smallwood for their annual job evaluation they would exceed all expectations.

And, on this 'Legacy Of The Beast' show previous Maiden shows were well exceeded...

Presented as a metal opera in four acts - war, religion, hell and damnation - this was not only well constructed but thought through in its conception and execution.

From the military-garbed crew unveiling the camo netting as the strains of 'Doctor, Doctor' echoed around the SSE through to the final wail of 'Run To The Hills' not a foot or moment was wasted.

In the carefully coordinated moments of Churchill's Speech anticipation within the sold-out venue was perhaps higher than ever before. And, there was a fucking Spitfire. A 90% lifesize replica of a Spitfire from 302 Squadron - a Polish squadron - flew above the stage as 'Aces High' had 90% of the audience bellowing along. A vocal nod to the 100th anniversary of the RAF and noting that young men a third of his age went off to fight Nazism was just and apt.

'Where Eagles Dare' - with Bruce in mountaineering garb - and an outstanding 'Two Minutes to Midnight' had the audience slack-jawed in amazement.

Turning to the Bayley-era 'The Clansman' Dickinson took the time to speak about 'Freedom'  and in response the SSE joined in during the track.

'The Trooper' concluded the 'War' section with Bruce duelling with a 12 foot Eddie; the track only diminished by Bruce waving a Legacy of the Beast flag instead of the Union Flag the rest of the tour will see. It's a song about the Crimean War, based on a poem, not a political statement. Fuck sake Northern Ireland is disappearing up its own arsehole when this happens.

A sign that Maiden know how to play their audience was the tracks 'Revelations' and 'For The Greater Good of God'. As the backdrop changed to a cathedral like illumination (with saints replaced by the various incarnations of Eddie in the stained glass) these were tracks for aficionados not those for the hits. Thankfully most there were aficionados.

'The Wicker Man' and 'Sign Of The Cross' - with Bruce in demented monk mode - kept it all moving along.

Steve Harris grinning like it was his first show machine-gunning the audience with his bass, the entire band were not only 'on form' but were revelling in what they were doing.

Murray and Smith trading licks and riffs, while Gers was rivalling Bruce in the Energizer Bunny stakes and hamming up at every opportunity.

As if a theatrical performance all hit their 'marks' while anchoring all was an exuberant performance from the grinning Nicko. Every time the stage cameras captured him his smile was radiant. One bass drum, no drum triggers, a plethora of toms, his work rate might seem as you watch relaxed but the man exudes class.

Now many bands have pyros. Flames and all that. Bruce had his own fucking flamethrower. Threatening band mates a vast Icarus' wings fell to ashes.

To give an insight to the level of professionalism a photographer revealed that prior to the show beginning a Maiden PR person briefed all the togs where Bruce would leap on the opening number...in order that all in the photo pit could get the best possible shot. Equal that!

Adorned with a plague mask 'Fear of the Dark' saw the Belfast choir chanting and signing on command, while 'Number of the Beast was, well 'Number of the Beast'.

With the main set closing with a hyper-speed 'Iron Maiden' the trio of tracks for the encore had the audience both rapt and using every last ounce of energy. 'The Evil That Men Do' merged seamlessly into 'Hallowed by thy Name'  complete with cell and swaying noose.

As 'Run To The Hills' had yet more fists, horns and strained vocal chords there was no doubt the audience left as 'Always Look On The Bright Side of Life' played they were not only sated, but delighted.

As per each show on this tour Iron Maiden came on at precisely the same time, and departed at the same time. Contrived? No professional. But being professional, and executing the same set night after night does mot mean that the band does not deliver anything other than pure heavy metal excellence. The enthusiasm was evident, not just a set of men doing their jobs.

The only niggle across the entire evening was the massed ranks of phones. Watch the gig - you're tiny screen will never capture the majesty of Maiden.

What next for the Irons? Another album, tour to support that and a farewell greatest hits tour? That'll do nicely.

Review by Jonathan Taynor

NEWS: Maiden to bring Legacy of the Beast to Belfast

AT one pm today Iron Maiden announced their 2018 tour, including a date in Belfast on August 2nd.

Following the massively successful global tour of 2016-17 in support of their 16th studio album The Book Of Souls IRON MAIDEN will take to the road again in 2018 with a series of arena and festival shows in Europe on the Legacy Of The Beast World Tour opening in Tallinn, Estonia on May 26 and finishing at the o2 Arena, London on August 10.

The tour includes the date at The SSE Arena, Belfast on Thursday August 2nd.

The concept for the Legacy Of The Beast World Tour was inspired by Maiden’s mobile game and comic book of the same name and the stage set design will feature a number of different but interlocking “worlds” with a set list covering a large selection of Eighties material with a handful of surprises from later albums to add diversity.

Maiden manager Rod Smallwood explained: "As our fans know, we’ve been following a particular touring cycle ever since Bruce and Adrian re-joined Maiden at the start of the millennium, alternating new album tours with “History/Hits” tours.

"We enjoy working this way for many reasons, not least because it gives the band a chance to play both new material and the older favourites which we know fans like to hear. It keeps things fresh, not just for the fans but for the band too.

“For this History/Hits tour we decided to base the theme around the Legacy Of The Beast name, which suits our purposes perfectly by giving us scope to get creative and have some fun, especially with Eddie! I don’t want to give too much away at the moment but we’re working on a number of different stage sets, all in keeping with the Maiden tradition and we hope to give our fans a fantastic experience when they come to see this very special show.”

Killswitch Engage will be Maiden’s Special Guest on headline European shows from May 26 to July 1 inclusive, and in the UK from July 31 to Aug 10 inclusive. Guests on other shows are currently being finalized and will be announced soon.

The Belfast show goes on sale Friday 24th November, see below for details. As always, there will be an exclusive presale for Fan Club members, starting Monday 20th.

Tickets on-sale Friday 24th November at 9am
The SSE Arena, Belfast Box Office: Tel. 02890 739074
Book On Line: www.ssearenabelfast.com
Ticketmaster: In person: From 100 Ticketmaster Outlets Nationwide
By Telephone (24 Hour):   0844 277 44 55 (ROL: 0818 719300)
Book On Line: www.ticketmaster.ie

LIVE REVIEW: Setting the Diamond afire - Blaze Bayley rocks Ahoghill

TO many the time Blaze Bayley spent in Iron Maiden came at a most inopportune moment in rock music: the labels weren't backing metal bands to the extent they used to, and the tides of fortune had yet to see the return of heavier music's heyday.

However, they were still albums treasured in many people's collections, as well as the Wolfsbane releases. When Blaze Bayley left Maiden he shook off any disappointment, gathered himself and began a solo career that has not only earned plaudits, but see him battle back from personal tragedy and an indifferent mainstream metal media.

The fans, however, are ever loyal to a man who epitomises the no nonsense approach.

Before Mr Bayley took to the Diamond Rock Club stage local sc-fi/fantasy-tinged metal crew Terminus more than warmed up the heaving venue with a 45-minute no nonsense set. From the opener 'Reaper's Spiral' it was clear that they were intent on winning over new fans.

Indeed many Diamond newbies could be overheard muttering approval at the style of metal Terminus were pushing out. All of which is helped by the fact that the band are tight and deliver their set with precision and an obvious excess of energy.

James Beattie commands the front, his singing throughout spot on, as Paul and Gavin wove guitar lines to match the lyrics. 'Fortress Titan' was a highlight and the well earned response to closer 'Centaurean' raised the bar.

With all points near the stage packed, Blaze Bayley received what is easily understood as a rapturous response. Not only were there many fans there it was notable that many local musos were out in force.

Opening with 'Endure and Survive' from the forthcoming album of the same name the men backing Blaze seemed to be enjoying the experience as much as the audience.

Indeed the band has a feel of a real unit - compact, flourishing and a force to be reckoned with. Naturally the temperature soared when after 'A Thousand Years' they launched into 'Futurereal', and from then on it was a helter skelter ride that took the Diamond through songs were familiar to all; plus a bonus.

The first live outing for 'Escape Velocity' was as well received as any of the tracks, but most-of-all it was the way the set list was balanced throughout, with the back catalogue of his own material melding with Maiden songs.

Bracketing 'Lord of the Flies' with 'Speed of Light' and 'Stare at the Sun' gave all a chance to see how he has grown as a songwriter and performer, without losing that sense of where he came from.

Closing with the Wolfsbane track 'Manhunt' and 'Man On the Edge' had the crowd ecstatic, however, the show was only 95% of the success. The remaining five per cent came from the man's attitude on stage, his willingness to engage in banter, warmth oozing from his every pore.

Sure, the Diamond Rock Club may be a seeming million miles from Maiden, but that does not make it any less of a valid place to see a man who should be a rock icon held in high esteem. Whether with his own material or Blaze's venerable past he achieved a par excellence show in Ahoghill and gave the club a sense of belonging to a metal history that is no longer of the past, but sits in the present.

Blaze Bayley - a survivor, a singer and a superb live performer.

Review by Jonathan Traynor
Pictures by Darren McVeigh

  

NEWS: Iron Maiden announce Irish date for 2017 leg of Book of Souls tour

RIGHT you happy metal fiends, you read the headline right, Iron Maiden are back on a European arena tour as part of the Book Of Souls cycle and there will be an Irish date.

This morning (Friday 23rd September) the band confirmed they will play Dublin's 3Arena on May 6th.

And, having seen the Irons rip up a sodden Download earlier this year this is a set not to be missed. Hell, all Maiden sets are not to be missed but they are on a form that is rarely equalled amongst any band.

Bruce has beaten the cancer, Steve will have British Lion out of his system, and the rest will, as always make other acts look like sloppish amateurs.

Of course, Bruce announced the 2017 arena tour from the stage at Download, something which he has 'form' (on stage with Bon Jovi at the 1987 Monsters of Rock he told the crowd "see you next year).

This arena tour has also been trailed officially by the band with the various streams announcing the aim to beat the ticket touts with a largely paperless ticketing system, something the band have trialled in the past

Book of Souls - the ambitious double album released in September 2015 an clocking in at a mammoth 92 minutes - scored Maiden their fifth UK number one album and a plethora of top slots in charts across the world.

Steve Harris said of the tour:

“The whole band is really enjoying this tour and though we love playing festivals and stadiums, it is terrific to return to the intimacy and atmosphere of arenas for a few shows.

"The songs from The Book Of Souls album and the new Maya-themed Eddies and stage sets have gone down really well and fan reaction has been amazing. And of course we know our fans appreciate us playing a lot of the older songs too, which we will continue to do."

Support will come from Shinedown.

Tickets go on sale on Friday, 30th September at 9am.

ALBUM REVIEW: Jorn lands with classic covers album

NORWAY's own heavy metal Thor, Jorn Lande, returns with a new album of cover versions ranging from Kate Bush to Iron Maiden entitled 'Heavy Rock Radio'. But does the album deliver as much hammer as Thor’s hammer Mjölnir

Starting with Frida's (the dark haired one from Abba) 'I know There's Something Going On' didn't initially inspire much confidence but Christ does it rock! The structure of the song totally lends itself to the heavy metal treatment and witg heavy, filled in riffs and an excellent solo from Trond Holter - it's an encouraging start.

Messing with teenage wet dream Kate Bush's song 'Running Up That Hill' in principle shouldn't have worked but he bloody nails it. Loaded up with guitar, bass, drums and Jorn’s raspy vocals it's like a totally new song.

Foreigners 'Rev on The Red Line' still has that Foreigner feel to it but with a much heavier sound and the synths pushed firmly into the background.

So far, so good, but John Farnham's 'You’re The Voice' throws up the first issue. The arrangement is excellent and it really works with a heavy guitar influence but those guitars are used  to replace part of the vocals on the chorus and this lessens its impact. Thankfully this is put right in the second part of the song but it could've been so much better the whole way through as Jorn’s vocals are excellent. Didn't really need to turn the pages over....

The pop rock offering of Paul Stanleys 'Live to Win' is in much need of a boot up the arse and gets it here. Much heavier with a Scandanavian/ European vibe to it, this version is much better than the MTV-era influenced original

Okay, 'Don't Stop Believing' has been done to death.....but not like this! Leaving out the piano and focusing on guitar with the bass playing the lower tones the piano normally would play, Lande sticks rigidly to the songs structure but his raspy vocal delivery breathes new life into it.

'Killer Queen' is up next. There are some Queen songs that would be better suited to getting the heavy treatment (Don't stop Me Now springs to mind) but this one should probably have been left alone. It's not that its bad but as Jorn himself says on the liner notes:"I'll let the listener decide if the outcome was auccessful" This version could cause more social media chatter than the Brexit vote!

Covering the iconic Eagles tune 'Hotel California' may well be sacrosanct in some quarters but thankfully they did as its an absolute belter of a version. Staying close to the original and keeping it fairly simple there is a whole new dimension to this song. A much more menacing vocal delivery gives it depth and the guitar outro is just killer. Album highlight so far.

Anyone familiar with Lande’s back catelogue will know he's at his best when he takes on Ronnie James Dio and David Coverdale. His Dio cover album and the ‘Snakes' Once Bitten album are perfect examples. So, the fact that this version of 'Rainbow in the Dark' is superb is no surprise. It maintains all the elements of the Dio original but with a much heavier sound. The trick with singing an RJD song is to try and get his unique phrasing and pinched off vocals correct and Jorn manages to do this really well without sounding like a copycat. Great version of the song.

Surprisingly Iron Maiden get the full Jorn treatment with his offering of 'The Final Frontier'. Sans the snoozefest that is Satelitte 15 as an intro the song is tighter. Jorn does an excellent job on the vocal without ever trying to sound like Bruce. It probably misses the trademark Maiden three guitar sound but it's still an excellent version.

'Stormbringer' is song that sees Coverdale get, err, covered. It’s another outstanding version as Jorn is right in his comfort zone singing this stuff.

Album closer 'Die Young' is a great effort at a Dio-era Sabs song. There are no dramatic changes to the original just cleaner vocals and new, original and energetic guitar parts. A great way to finish the album off.

Overall this is good fun and a damn good listen. Personal choice will always dictate favourites but it's worth getting to discuss Killer Queen alone.

Review by Andy Gillen

It's Belfast (show) business for Maiden frontman in February

WOULD you Adam 'n' Eve it but Bruce Dickinson is to appear in Belfast...only don't expect another high octanse set of heavy metal on February 7th.

The singer formerly known a Bruce Bruce in his Samson days will be guest speaker for the Institute of Directors Annual Dinner in the Europa Hotel.

In an extensive plug for the IoD's dinner the chairman of the Institute, Mervyn McCall, plugs Mr Dickinson's appearance with the following quotation in today's News Letter:

"We are thrilled to have secured such a rock heavyweight as the guest speaker at out annual dinner.

"The dinner is the highlight of the Institute's year and I'm sure everyone who attends will be greatly anticipating hearing from Bruce and how he combines his musical and business careers."

Mr McCall may be ignoring the fact that it is called show business and we recommend he watches the Belly of the Beast Iron Maiden documentary to see the real business about putting on Iron Maiden shows around the globe.

Why Bruce would choose to be a guest speaker for a bunch of business suits is clear to anyone who knows the man's current business interests, which include being a pilot, heading a major aircraft maintenance employer and a fencing equipment company called 'Duellist'.

Bruce's appearance and all these business interests aside we want to know (a) when will there be a new Maiden album and (b) when will he front Maiden again in Belfast.

Grumpy old metaller speaks out...

SCREW the mainstream, it's so bland and formulaic that it doesn't know when it is disappearing up its own back passage...

Why this outburst? For once it is not prompted by alcohol (although that is helping!). Some days ago I clocked an episode of Grumpy Old Men in the graveyard of TV that are Sky Channels repeating shows you missed because they were crap first time around. On it the various - and at times vacuous - referenced the music and style of the 80s.

It was either that or watch the utter tripe of the X-Factor (and as per previous posts I recommend SLF's Guitar and Drum, once dedicated, alliteratively, by Jake Burns to "that c**t Cowell), something worthy on BBC or Scuzz and KerrangTV playing pop punk inane posturing...

And it was an alien decade that I stumbled upon. The "grumpy" types referred first to the many style abberations (of which I do confess to many, not least the white leather trousers....) and then to the music of then 80s.

For them the memories were of Kagagogoo, the Birdie Song, Human League, Duran Duran and Spandau Ballix.

All of these dire discourses on crimes against synthesisers and music made me angry (hence this article!).

For me, and many others who love hard rock, heavy metal and, heaven forfend prog rock, the 80s were a nirvana of pure unadulterated joy.

This was a decade when you could hear Ozzy, Maiden, Motorhead. Marrillion and many others on prime time Thursday night TV, a decade when Judas Priest were on kids' shows and Friday night's The Tube.

This was a decade which started with punk's wonderful snarl (of which Norn Iron's many bands were at the forefront) merged, almost seamlessly into the New Wave of British Heavy Metal - a specious genre which spawned the likes of Metallica.

Maiden, Saxon and Leppard led the way amongst many other unheralded acts like White Spirit, Tank and many others who had their moment in the limelight with a session on Tommy Vance's Fridat Night Rock Show.

This was a decade that saw MSG sell-out the Ulster Hall twice, a decade that saw Metallica and Anthrax cause almost terminal damage to the venerable venue before WASP and Slayer ripped it up. This was a decade when Magnum sold out QUB's SU speakeasy (and yes Kyle, Michael and I may have briefly kidnapped Bob Catley for coffee in the History Common Room...during which I am sure he "borrowed" phrases for the Wings of Heaven album) and the Ulster Hall 14 months later.

This was a decade when metal and hard rock was dominant - a sell-out gig by Whitesnake almost caused a riot in Bedford Street after a rumour of more tickets, but Baal, Sylvia and I were safely inside by then...

This was a decade that saw the release of Master of Puppets, Number of the Beast, Among the Living, Misplaced Childhood, Reign in Blood, Peace Sells, Ace of Spades, Holy Diver, Thunder and Lightning, Slide it In, and even Pyromania (these were the days before Lepps discovered cheesiness stinkier than 10-year-old Gorgonzola).

And what do the numpties and non-entities quote to us? Howard F**kin' Marks and Ricke F**kin' Astley!  What do the advertisers and marketeers toss as ready made 80s references? Oh I can't be arsed referencing their crap. But they should remember that Iron Maiden's Transylvania was once on a Lucozade ad...real energy, not faux power.

In this rant, I should as a responsible (well mostly!) former full-time journo (before I sold my soul to PR) point out that the local hard rock and metal talent is better than ever (congrats to Trucker Diablo on their recent Rotosound endorsement) with literally dozens of acts that could grace global stages, compared to the average Driveshaft, the sadly unsigned Winter's Reign and Norn Iron's own NWOBHM standard bearers, Sweet Savage. (who I must note are still pumping out awesome songs!)

So, what is the purpose of this typed rant (other than personal reminiscences). Simply put, hard rock and heavy metal - even the multi platinum selling acts - exists today, as in the 80s, in the 'underground'. And even there there are graduations of 'being underground'.

Iron Maiden and Metallica can sell out the Odyssey Arena, yet the radio rants about Snooze Patrol. Many, many other rock and metal acts like The Answer sell-out the Ulster Hall, the Mandella Hall and other Belfast venues. The Distortion Projects brings international acts to the Ormeau Road, Ma Nelsons is emerging as a trusty metal venue and Ahoghill's Diamond Rock Club is burgeoning.

This rant (brought to you by 'beer') has two-purposes: an opportunity to show off my age as an advantage over the kiddie metallers, and secondly as a rallying call to the young generations and the sedentary older rockers. I may have illnesses, responsibilities and other sh*t meaning I venture to gigs less frequently than I wish.

What's your excuse?

PS: Congrats to Ball and Sylvia on becoming hard rocking grandparents, and Steve on becoming a da...now bring that child up listening to Satan's sounds :)   \m/

PPS: if you love yer rock and metal make a commitment to see at least one local act each quarter and put aside a couple of quid to buy their CD. \m/

PPS: We even liked Meatloaf then, who one asked his girlfriend for some back door action...she told him she would do anything for love, but she'll not do that. \m/

PPPS...apologies for the excessive parentheses, but sobriety disappeared over the horizon about two hours ago

PPPS - I'm stopping now as I could - and I mean it - rant all night...

Why rockers and metalheads should be afraid, very afraid

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING RANT HAS SWEARIE BITS AND SELF-INDULGENT WAFFLING/PARANOIA...

ARE you sitting comfortably? Well you shouldn't be! You should be looking at your 'net favourites to see is there anything that an innocent wee child could be offended by should they 'encounter it'.

You should be outraged!

Have ever watched a rock/metal music video with a 'violent' or 'sexual' theme? Yes? Well, there is the very real possibility that age rating will put those beyond 9 o'clock, if note air completely and channels will be clogged with pop-punk derivative drivel in the meantime. The  director's artistic and poignant interpretation of Metallica's cover of Bob Seger's 'Turn the Page would never have been made let alone seen.

Why these dire predictions?

For those of you not inclined to watch what passes for news on the telly, on the radio and our snoozepapers, you will have missed the fact that the Tory party backed investigation into the sexualisation of children was published this week past.

And what has this to do with hard rock and heavy metal?

Well for a start, even the most reactionary bands object to censorship; but more importantly, hard rock and heavy metal will be collateral damage when the Tories begin the pressure on the music and fashion business to adopt voluntary codes or else the big legislative stick comes out.

[There now follows a brief historical interlude for younger readers...]

Back in the 1980s heavy metal and hard rock strode the continents, powerful, potent and selling albums by the bucket load. Oh, and the Tories were in power, and right wing politics was in vogue in the USA.

Along came a spider web of organisations with the claim of being the moral majority. Leading the fascist anti-freedom of speech charge was the PMRC. Everytime you see one of those pathetic "Parental Advisory" stickers, it's thanks to Tipper Gore and her PMRC mates. To realise how insane these people were, consider the fact that they published a 'Filthy 15' of songs that would corrupt youth. Consider the fact that Def Leppard were lumped in with WASP, and Venom with Cyndi Lauper...

Misinformed views of what hard rock and heavy metal's themes, memes and attitude were further perpetuated; the cultural value of each and every band and each and every fan was denigrated. As collateral damage escalated, Judas Priest and Ozzy found themselves in court rooms on ridiculous charges that were laughed out of court.

Fast forward now to 2011, and the Tories are back in power with their judas lapdog Lib Dems in close attendance to whatever shit pours from David Cameron's disingenous mouth.

The Tories commissioned a report into the sexualisation of children. Did they ask an expert in the field, an academic with years of experience in the field? Did they trawl the UK and further afield for experts who could present a balanced view?

No, the Tories, in their infinite wisdom appointed a Mr Reg Bailey, the Chief Executive of the Mother's Union and former boss of Danish Bacon. An obvious choice really - administrator in chief for a christian organisation even less interesting than the WI, who in his previous job used to order the mass importation of pig flesh to under-cut local farmers. An obvious choice when you're a Tory Daily Mail reader really...

So what in the name of Sabbath has this all got to do with hard rock and heavy metal?

Well, this report into sexualisation is so vague about everything that whatever you do, say or watch could be interpreted as sexualising something. And this is the bogey word of the generation. As soon as you link sex and anything to do with 'under 18s' The Scum readers, sorry The Sun Page 3  readers, haul their semi-literate arses onto the bandwagon and radio phone-ins.

Let's be clear about something before I go any further. As a father I believe that paedophiles deserve to face the full force of the law with the maximum possible sentences imposed upon each and every one of their crimes...and then they should up to be administered several firm boots in the 'ballix' on behalf of society.

Some of the shit pouring forth from a gullible press was about under-10 girls wearing suggestive t-shirts. Is that any worse than a six-year-old boy wearing a Man U shirt with Giggs on the back?

And remember - just because the child is wearing a stupid wannabe WAG t-shirt doesn't mean she understands any of it, it just means she has stupid parents.

Back to the vague plot here...hard rock and heavy metal exist on the fringes of a society defined by a snobbish so-called intelligentsia who flaunt their media studies 'let's pretend their real degrees' as they denegrate rock.

In this Tory inspired atmosphere of fear and overtly paternal protectionism, where do you think the views of the prudes will fall when it comes to rock and metal?

Will they consider Slayer's output under what Kerry King says is extreme storytelling? Or will consider Journey's Don't Stop Believing as an ode to anonymous sexual adventures of the lonely? Will Metallica's 'Disposable Heroes' be declared too anti-war? Will Iron Maiden's "Number of the Beast" be the final "satanist" nail that sees all non -approved music banned.

Yes, that stretches reality as it is today. But if Rhianna is deemed too raunchy by these self-appointed guardians of taste and decency what will they make of WASP's Animal, or any given Cradle of Filth song?

The problem is that the righteous always seem to know the things to say no to. The very darkest metal, the most melancholic hard rock, and the most indignant punk has a life-affirming quality the X-Factor wannabes will never have. But we must stand together with the numpty mime artist, over-dubbed, auto-tuned, pro-tooled z-listers just this once. The censors are prowling. In their wake comes the churches. In their wake come the blackshirts of oppression.

It might be over-egging the threat, but next thing you know creationism is being taught as secientific fact despite thousands of actual proper scientists having the burden of proof on their side: next thing the priests of the Temple of Syrinx (Rush reference slipped clumsily in there!) will determine what we listen to, what is approved and what haircut you must have as you punch in the wage slave clock.

Hard rock and heavy metal has never presented itself as a counter-culture, it has never been a 'movement'.

In the 80s the anti-rock hype led to albums belonging to a guy I went to school with being burned by his evangelical parents.

Now that's a little too close to the Nazis book-burning, the Stalin-esque purges, or the totalitarian régimes in any number of countries.

Don't raise your voices, don't enter into debate with the censors right now. Just keep being who we all are: those who play in bands, those who watch those bands, those who write and comment about it. When the time comes to resist the censor we'll know that, together, we are louder, we are prouder and we are a music family you will never silence.

True cause of recession revealed - hard rock and heavy metal

ECONOMISTS have been agonising over the slump in retail spending, despairing as to why shop receipts have been tumbling, and rending their hair working out where all the money in the economy has gone.

 

Traditional economic theories have been junked, the bank bail-out didn't really cost that much and we can't blame the Tories for everything (just almost everything).

 

Thankfully the ghosts or Thomas Malthus and Adam Smith have arisen from the crypts, rattling the abacus of doom and the spreadsheets of satan, with the answer.

 

It's all the fault of hard rock and heavy metal.

 

The micro-economy that constitutes rock and metal is sucking vast amounts of cash in, with then result that retail stores are no longer able to keep their doors open and distraught telesales have threatened to strangle themselves with their headsets.

 

Some examples of this economic malaise have surfaced this week. Tickets go on sale for Iron Maiden at the Odyssey in mere hours, then there's Journey, Foreigner (Odyssey, June 12th) and Rush (O2, Dublin May 12th) and the plethora of gigs from The Distortion Project, the Diamond Rock Club and too many others to mention.

 

Credit card transactions have ceased to be the preserve of panicky parents of toddlers and pre-teens; now the credit and debit cards sit poised by the keyboard or the phone awaiting the next gig announcement.

 

Of course, if it were just the tickets the effect on the economy would be vast, but not crippling. But, then there is the monetary substitute sometimes referred to as beer tokens that is sucking cold hard cash out of the system. And this is not to mention the curreconfused merchandise exchange rate causing havoc on the bond and future markets!

To ease fears of meltdown for the global economy there is only on solution: a delegation led by Lemmy, Helfield, Harris and Iommi should be received by the International Monetary Fund, and the European Bank.

Their proposal will be simple: 10% of ticket sales in Ireland (north and south) for the next two years will be used to bail out the global economy. That will have the effect of wiping out the UK, Irish, Spanish and Greek debts. The delegation will have only two pre-conditions. These are: disembowel "that c**t Cowell" (Copyright Jake Burns, SLF) and shoot on sight all Strictly C**ts Dancing.

There - with the global economic crisis solved I can now move into complete panic mode: how in the name of all that is diabolically satanically majestic is an hard working fan of Lucifer's own soundtrack going to afford all these glorious concerts both in terms of money and time?

One could sell a (moderately abused) kidney, but eBay have cracked down on that sort of thing...
Or
Sell sperm to needy women wanting children (should have thought of that before the vasectomy!)
Or
Sell my body (would have to be for medical science as no self-respecting homo sapiens would want it for anything else)
Or
...ahh feck it, there's no hope! Will just have to hope that Lord Hetfield and Lemmy have remembered to rig the Lotto for me tomorrow night!

So: even though I've not been keeping up here's as many upcoming gigs that my beer saddled brain cares to recall at this time of the night:

• Diamond Head
• Exodus
• Decapitated
• Toby Jepson
• WASP
• Airbourne
• Entombed
• Nile
• Dan Reed
• Gun
• Accept
• Rush
• Journey/Foreigner
• Iron Maiden

Ahh feck it - there's no way to keep up! Will have to sober up and sit down and list all the forthcoming gigs from national and international acts, not to mention the hundreds of fantastic local gigging and recording bands!

Infiltrating the mainstream...

HEAVY metal doesn't often penetrate the mainstream sensibility, but perhaps we're making strides. Iron Maiden's The Final Frontier has penetrated the UK album charts at Number One this week, and even the tweedle dee tweedle dumb pop pages of the Daily Mirror managed to mention this (of course, given the hordes we know are out there, like a Nightbreed of Cabal fame it was always going to happen).

And, in the latest shocker the Financial Times, that bastion of besuited bankers and stockbrokers, has included a (brief) review of Black Label Society's Order of the Black.

This, surely means that the pop-tastic pricks and the orderly ranks of merchant bankers has been infiltrated. To those that, by stealth and guile, have snuck upon the unwary, orderly world well done.

What next? Heavy metal in Bollywood? Well Panic Cell have done that with tracks appearing on the forthcoming Pusher movie (they've also snuck into the wholesome world of Lego with their video for 'Crazy' and its hilarious massed ranks of headbanging lego figures).

Hell there even is a Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book (you too can indoctrinate the kids before boy bands steal their mojo or Katie Price steals their virginity!).

In all seriousness (no seriously I'm sober so have a tendency to be serious once a week without fail) heavy metal and hard rock lurks in the consciousness of the wider, unwashed and unbidden folks who are normally content with bland, beige tunes. Play them a little AC/DC riff, Metallica's Nothing Else Matters, a snatch of Maiden, a hint of G 'n' R, and a smidge of Sabbath and they nod; a little (bitter) part of their soul yearning for the sweet abandon of metal.

But the, boring, soft, yielding part of their make-up urges them on, forever cautioning them against the wearing of the black, and not caring what the neighbours think about Reign in Blood upsetting the cats.

I cry for them. I despair that they will never have that sweet abandon of having drunk too many pints, yelled till hoarse and been dazzled by the brilliance of a live performance and then stumbled into the street with the brothers and sisters of metal and ears a-buzzing and face-a-grinning.

But, we shall perservere, we'll hail those that infiltrate the beige and slowly, but surely begin the world dominance that will see every speaker blown (tangential Manowar reference there!) in the cause of metal.

[NB: for those who have read this far you may have gathered that the tongue was firmly inserted in cheek (and that wasn't a sexual reference...though I'm sure Steel Panther could come up with one). All heavy metal, even in its most serious, reverential knows the danger of taking itself too seriously!]

The Final Frontier...is it the best Maiden album for a long time

A LOT of people are always wedded to the classic albums bands produce. In Iron Maiden's case this could be Number of the Beast, the eponymous début, or even later works like Fear of the Dark.

It is, of course, difficult to separate that point when nostalgia can be dispassionately viewed, the great tracks can be isolated from the just plain good (Gangland? I mean it sounded good then, but how many of us air it now?).

Which, of course means we all have differing takes on new material from any act we loved some time ago. [I am discounting younger readers - too many of them talk about classic albums, but were not around, or even alive - when these albums were released, and thus have no perspective on their impact].

This all, in a rather meandering way, leads to Iron Maiden's latest offering, The Final Frontier.

I've been mulling this over for some time. It is a diverse, complicated and ultimately fantastic release. It would do a disservice to the album to try and dissect it here, rather I will throw the proverbial cat amongst the pigeons and say that The Final Frontier is their best album to date.

All the Maiden trademark sounds are present, but folded and wrapped by sophistication and accomplished arrangements.

But that is just the fantastic sounds of the album...I simply hate the cover...Eddie just isn't Eddie-ish enough :)

Will, at some stage succomb to the merchandise by buying lates Maiden t-shirts, but hope that they have a slightly better design than the cover.

Still - The Final Frontier shows the band themselves are still fresh, relevant, and most of all getting heavier as they get older!

Iron Maiden and Heaven & Hell to play Dublin

IRON maiden are kicking off their European Tour in Dublin's O2 Arena with special guests Heaven & Hell a.k.a. Dio era Sabbath.

Date is 30th July...

Tickets on sale next Friday, with pre-sale for Fan Club members on Tuesday, priced 67.50 euros incl/ booking fee.

Official MCD release here.

More later!

Maiden Brits nomination

Okay, if you were going to pick the best live act would you pick Coldplay? Or the Verve? Even Scouting for Girls? If so you're on the wrong fucking site!

Iron Maiden have been nominated for 'Best British Live Act' in the forthcoming Brit Awards.
Other nominees are indeed saddoos Coldplay, shoegazers Elbow, indie shite Scouting for Girls and the average at best..The Verve

As said on the Iron Maiden official post:

"So this is a GREAT opportunity for us to show the power and popularity of metal by voting for Maiden. Over the years the Brits have rarely included anyone from the Metal fraternity so this is a chance to make our voices heard

"Voting closes this Saturday 7th February at 5pm GMT, so go cast your vote now at http://www.brits.co.uk/vote".

Couldn't agree more, make the Brits cower down to the might of metal! As was once said in Northern Ireland politics...vote early, vote often!

Rumour mill...Maiden and Metallica

In the newspape trade August is generally regarded as the silly season...and no less in the metal blogging world. Seems rumours are flying back and forth about Metallica and Maiden putting in appearances in late 2008 (Maiden) and February/March 2009 (Metallica) on this wee island.

Comments by Hetfield on stage at Marley Park last week and at the Kerrang! awards led to somewhat garbled assumptions. The facts so far are the Metallica have confirmed North America dates (Lamb of God and Machine Head are among the touring package on various dates) that will last until January 31st. After that there will be a short break before more touring. By that stage they will have criss-crossed the US...therefore a European tour will take place. Whether Ireland, north or south, is included on the itinerary remains to be seen.

As to Maiden. Every couple of years they wrap up 12 months of work with a couple of UK dates that culminate in one or two dates at Earl's Court. If, and at this stage it is a big if, they decide to do a short Christmas tour, somewhere in Ireland (basically Odyssey or Point) will be included. Suggested date at this early stage is 8th December (which at the Odyssey has no poxy boy bands, whining Indie idiots or gospel conventions listed...it's free if you're listening Mr Smallwood)

Oh, and for the n-th year running AC/DC are supposed to be playing Slane...

Once the facts are clear we'll bring you the full details...well at least where you can wish you had bought tickets as they'll sell out pretty quickly if the rumour mill grinds some truth

FOOTNOTE: As noted in the comment from Alertz (see comments) below the Maiden date is looking less likely. I've also spoken to a 'source' today who said that Maiden's management were allegedly demanding heavy cash for Irish dates owing to transport costs. The source said that unless it was an extremely stripped down show an Irish Maiden date, north or south, would not take place until next album release. As said in the post, everything is a big if.