Happiness not in your lexicon – Honey for Christ might be for you

WHEN it comes to cheerful misery and doom-laden emotional tales then it could be your too happy and you should add Honey for Christ’s first full-length album, The Cruelty of Great Expectations, to your regular listening.

Northern Ireland's Honey for Christ

Lyrically this offering from the Northern Ireland trio is enough to turn the happiest, clappiest, tambourine wielding Salvation Army member into a tattoo bedecked alcoholic; it makes angst ridden emos seem genuinely happy souls.

Slayer offered a dystopian global view in World Painted Blood, Honey for Christ reach into the deepest parts of each individual’s soul; where bleakness and desolation stamp down the smiles.

But musically there is a pure joy to listen to such well-arranged, dark metal.

Live favourites such as album closer The Final Transition, and recent single offering, All Hope Was Strangled, will already be familiar to fans of the band. However, they are now placed firmly in an aural landscape that broods, menaces and snaps you into a place, where, as HFC say: “the serpent eats the sun”.

And therein lies a strength for Honey for Christ that too many emerging acts forget. There is a need for metaphors in lyrics, and the music must match the tone of the lyrics and vice versa. Arrangements can be overlooked by eager musos who’ve just come up with a riff, without thinking how it can be fitted into a fluid song. Gigging and recording have honed Honey for Christ into a tight studio force as well as an awesome live act.

Take a close listen to Another Way Down and its landscape, painted in lush tones of despair, with gloom slowly building to inner terror, the terror behind every business suit briefcase carrying drone or power-dressed woman eager for the top.

Plunge into the seven minute opus of Failures Within, and wrench apart the souls’ clothes that hide the trembling beast in poor bindings.

Self-confessed influences of Katatonia and Slayer can be traced, but the landscape of The Cruelty of Great Expectations is one also populated by time changes at times akin to Dream Theater, slowed down hints of Down and the inner consideration of Gojira. But from this melange a great spice has been extracted – one with the dark beating heart of heavy metal strident in its blood-soaked glory. Gothic was never so good.

Great expectations can be cruel, for the flipside of hope is despair. David Lee Roth once said that Eddie Van Halen was only happy when he was miserable. Misery isn’t so bad when Honey for Christ’s misery can make one so happy.

The Cruelty of Great Expectations is available from 7th April on Rundown Records.

Honey for Christ are: Chris Armstrong (drums), Andy Clarke (vocals/guitar) and Paul McCoberts (bass).

Album launch party is Saturday 9th April at the Spring and Airbrake.

That would be an ‘eavy spring programme then...

THE daffodils are emerging tentatively through the drying soil, and lambs are bounding through fields, self-tenderising for the barbecue, and the Ormeau Road is being blitzed with some ‘eavy fuggin’ metal.

Yep, The Distortion Project’s spring programme has moved into high gear with April and May looking like a sonic wasteland of vibes to smash any sunny smiley thoughts that might have been pushing through your winter gummed eyes.

Last week alone we saw Darkest Era launch their début platter. Have to confess we (as in me and my son) were disappointed to miss this one, as Darkest Era performed way back at the first No Fake ID Required* gig. Krum electrified the crowd by plunging into the midst of a crowd of sweaty moshing teenagers.

Good luck to them, but as if that wasn’t enough to prepare you for the clocks going forward then hold on to your wee satanic cotton socks, because...well the line-up tells all.

In no particular order...Honey For Christ launch their new album ‘The Cruelty of Great Expectations’ on April 9th; “experimental-terror-metal noise heroes “ Today is the Day" play the Spring and Airbrake the night before; Hellbastard bring the ‘Bastards over Europe’ tour line-up to Auntie Annies on the 10th; and then we move into May…

Soilent Green land in the Limelight on 11th May, Welsh deathheads Desecration pop up in the same place the next day; and then we have the small matter of My Dying Bride on 22nd May at the Spring and Airbrake.

Look I could go on endlessly about support acts, ticket prices and availability, but as a former full-time journalist and current part-time chancer (well I work in PR, what do you expect!) save me the bother and head over to The Distortion Project and read, as they say, all about it!

Anyone else wanting gigs, events, metal weddings, black metal bar mitzvas, grindcore internments, or thrash metal formals mentioned email me. [PS – we also do album reviews!]


*No Fake ID Required was a name that a crowd of ne-er do wells used for two all-ages hard rock and metal gigs. I came up with the name when we were ensconced on sofas at Ossia Music School. As Paul, Stephen, Alli and Laura were all present there is collective ownership of the name. You may, of course, want to use it, but only with written permission from all of the above, your request being sent in your own blood Manowar style. Or send us a large amount of unmarked, non-sequential £50 notes in a brown envelope, which we will split and donate to the continuing profits of Jagermeister and Jack Daniels.
You may have noticed that included in this article are some links to the acts, which go to album links or MP3 download links in Amazon.com. Please do not feel obliged to buy from any of these links, but if you do Mr Arthur Guinness and Mr Jack Daniels will have your undying thanks. My liver on the other hand...

Holy Christ it's a new Honey for Christ album!

Making plans for April? Mark a date in your diary for Saturday April 9th before you do anything else!

Veteran metallers Honey for Christ unleash their début full-length platter of heaviness on that date in the ye olde Spring and Airbrake - courtesy of the Distortion Project.

With the tantalising title of  "The Cruelty of Great Expectations", those hungry to gather up the tunes can lay your grubby mits on it that night, for copies will be there for you to pass over the pounds to listen to the pounding tunes.

And if that wasn't enough to tempt you out (and if not you may need a metal transplant, or a good excuse from your doctor!) Honey for Christ will be joined by Condemned and Rebels by Nature (as well as another act to be confirmed!)

Doors are at 7pm and entry is a paltry £7.

http://www.honeyforchrist.com/

http://www.myspace.com/condemneduk

http://www.myspace.com/rebelsbynature

Perception isn't everything - Blaze into 2011 for Blaze

WHEN it comes to what we see and what we take as read, then all too often we screw it up. Looking back on December 2010 all we'll remember is the week of snow and frosts. So much airtime was taken up talking about record low temperatures in Ballygobackward that we'll not remember that the last week of the year had temperatures well above the seasonal average.

Perception versus reality?

While there way too many afflicted with no water and no heating, the blame game goes on. No-one seems to notice that under-investment for years has meant that our water systems are not capable - nor where they designed to - of coping with excessive rain, nor massive drainage of meltwater. Still it is easier to play the blame game when it's not your house flooded.

Perception versus reality?

That loathsome, contrived, faked and fucked up show called the X-Factor - and the show that claims Britain has Talent, then decides not to seek out any genuine talent - had more people read about it in red-top tabloids and shouty girly mags than actually watched the waste of televisual space

Perception versus reality?

Another confusion comes when it comes to the perception of fans of hard rock and heavy metal. According to any wank stain sneary, shoe gazing waste of oxygen, NME reading, music fashionista it's all a cliché and the fans are 'just so not us' except when they fawn over a DC gig and get all retro with Ozzy. According to the popular press it's all self-obsessed preening and silly air guitaring. Guess what...no; and you all know this already, we're just like the rest of humanity. We're a fucked up, screwed up, messed up collection of contradictions - but we're also willing to step up to the mark when needed, when required and when we can.

Perception can go fuck itself.

Some years ago I played a small part in a couple of charity gigs (hello to Laura who did most of the work, and whose idea it really was!) which saw metal and rock bands turn up, play, get drunk and fans turn up, get drunk etc. But it raised money for good causes as well as being a damn fine way to spend a Sunday.

Come Friday, 7th January metal will once again step up to the mark with Blazefest.

Sinocence, Sweet Savage, Honey for Christ, Nine Lies, devilmakesthree, and others will play the Spring and Airbrake in aid of Blaze's Appeal. Just visit the site to see why this is not only a good cause, but a damn good reason to get involved. Even if you can't go you can make a donation.

You see, like the rest of humanity we who come in all shapes, sizes, temperaments, lengths of hair, backgrounds, classes and general strangeness can make an effort, no matter how small, to make a difference. In the war against, as Billy Connolly put it, the beige, we as a community of rock and metal fans know that while we are inclined to, as Trucker Diablo point out, Drink Beer, Destroy, we are also inclined to reach out a hand and help others.

Details of the gig can be found here

If you can't be there, make a donation, make a difference, and rock harder than ever!

Grand date at Auntie's

Grand Magus - one of the most underrated of the battle/fantasy metal acts currently on the scene - are set for a Belfast appearance on October 27th in a Distortion Project promoted gig at Auntie Annie's.

For the uninitiated Grand Magus are Swedish classic metallers, with a penchant for epic tales of pre-Christian romance, battles, vengeance and errr, well lots of the same, plus gratuitous killing.

Promoting their new album, Iron Will, Magus will hit the stage with Belgian doomsters Serpent Cult and Norn Iron's own Honey for Christ.

Grand Magus have been knocking about the underground scene for more than eight years, with members also involved in numerous side projects (newest member, drummer Seb, played with Glenn Hughes touring outfit).

They'll bring an epic world to the intimate surroundings of Auntie Annie's and with tickets at a miserly £12 (on sale now from Katy Daly's and GetUrTicket) there should be no excuse not to get your asses into gear for a night that will show all the fans of 'new' battle/fantasy metal that it's been around for years and has some fine original proponents.

Christ single

No, the big JC has not signed a record deal in time for the second coming...instead head on down to The Limeliht for the regular Distortion Project slot when Honey for Christ launch their new single...mayhem, good beer and damn good music in a congenial atmosphere...sounds like a plan. Doors open at 4.30.