Stand back: rant-a-coming

Stand back those of a nervous disposition, there’s a rant-a-coming.

To cut to the chase a 19-year-old know-nothing has just emailed me complaining this blog doesn’t have enough ‘true metal’. Apparently posting blogs on Extreme and Feeder damage my ‘metal’ credentials.

Fear not faithful readers, I bit back the invective and did not set the raging dogs that guard metal’s hallowed gates of hell upon his pimply ass (though I do reserve that as an option!)

Instead it got me to thinking – why oh why are we still doing this genre thing again.

Currently on the Belfast Metalheadsreunited Decks of Doom are: Slipknot (once dismissed as nu-metal), Dragonforce (Euro Power Metal) Black Stone Cherry (non-drinking Southern rockers), Gojira (French Prog doom) and Pink Floyd.

As this wasn’t enough he’ll shit his pee-stained pants when he sees a post about the mighty Deft Leppard! (playing The Empire on 13th September)

But on with the rant….being an old wrinkled rocker I, and many of the readers of this blog, where about back in “the day” when a tattered motorbike jacket was de rigeur, complete with a cut-off denim adorned with patches of metal and hard rock gods (from Def Leppard to Motorhead; AC/DC to ZZ Topp, from Dan Reed Network to Dio). And we went to see Def Leppard, Bon Jovi and Anthrax and Metallica amongst many others not least Ozzy, Whitesnake, MSG, Slayer etc.

Then came the 90s…

So-called music journalists conveniently forgot that grunge was inspired by Sabbath and that Kurt Cobain was trying to do what Nikki Sixx did, but couldn’t handle the shit.

To set the record straight...

Metal is not cookie monster vocals. Metal is not sub-Maiden/Metallica riffage. Metal is not glammed out partying. Metal is not Death Metal corpse paint. Metal is not stadia rock.

Metal is all of these things and more. Sometimes the mainstream tries to claim metal. Most times it ignores us. We've never needed the mainstream, the pop charts, the play-listers or the poseurs.

We are stronger when we acknowledge that this wonderful, life-affirming music style accommodates so many styles, so many talented bands, and so many good people unfortunately a few wankers who spend time dissing bands they don’t like.

If you don’t like it don’t listen to it.

When Manowar played Belfast (how many of you pimply assholes remember that!) a dear departed friend asked them what the fuck was false metal. Joey De Maio assured him that he would get his answer from the stage that night.

The bass player of Mano-baby-oiled-a-war announced from a Mandella Hall stage that “false metal was any band that didn’t have the balls to play in Belfast”.

Ok, Man-o-man-they’re-very-short-a-war, may not have been back since, but to all those who indulge in this silly, silly I’m more metal that you or we’re harder funk/rock/metal/classic/trad/prog fans than anyone else; give it a rest.

Flame wars and abusive emails are for Americans and Spides. Here in Belfast, respect the music, respect the views – until then see you at Deft Leppard, Mastodon, Loaded, Dragonforce, Airbourne, Biffy Clyro and many other hard rockin’ metal events!